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Popular gun safe can be opened by knocking it gently on its corner

I post the Lockpicking Lawyer so frequently I decided not to do so again until he opened something by hitting it. This he has in fact done, it turns out: a fancy $150 gun safe so unsafe I won’t even name or link to it here.

I will not be posting the Lockpicking Lawyer again until he opens something by looking at it sternly.


Source: Popular gun safe can be opened by knocking it gently on its corner

Use rotisserie chicken in your buffalo chicken dip

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Buffalo chicken dip. Do you think there might be a recipe for this stuff in the Necronomicon? It’s tasty, sure, but while you’re making it, don’t you get the feeling that you might be doing something to trigger the apocalypse? The unnerving amounts of cream cheese, chicken, and ranch sloshing around together in the…

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Source: Use rotisserie chicken in your buffalo chicken dip

Speaking Simulator is a bizarre game where you use a gamepad to control a character’s mouth

In the game Speaking Simulator (Steam and Switch) you play a robot disguised as a human that tries to fit in the real world. Your job it to control its mouth to make it talk in a way that passes muster. If you aren’t good at your job, the robot’s head will explode. [via Waxy]

Image: YouTube


Source: Speaking Simulator is a bizarre game where you use a gamepad to control a character’s mouth

How You Parent Probably Doesn’t Matter as Much as You Think

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As someone who writes about parenting a lot and with the exact goal of helping to make all aspects of this monstrous, daunting task a little easier, I did a little double-take when I saw this headline in Today’s Parent: Does Parenting Even Matter? It better matter! Otherwise, why am I sitting here writing about potty…

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Source: How You Parent Probably Doesn’t Matter as Much as You Think

Adulting merit badges

There’s an entire set of merit badges for “adulting” [Amazon], each a handsomely-embroidered Scouting-style achievement related to the tasks we can all aspire to complete and qualities to embody. [via @codinghorror]

Many are simply humorous, such as “put on pants” and “abandoned a shopping cart”, but others echo a grind of life – “reduced screen time”, “paid bills on time”, “minded my own business” – that carries the vaguely embittered flavor of Millennials ground-down by their elders but too meek to fight back. That task shall presumably be left to the Zoomer security committees of the coming decade, which may not even have merit badges at all.

These are all iron-on, obviously.

There are thirty in all, but no badge for “ordered the complete set”.


Source: Adulting merit badges

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal – Emotion

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Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
The original version of this was accidentally pretty substantially offensive given some current events. So… thanks for catching that patreons!

Today’s News:


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Red Button mashing provided by SMBC RSS Plus. If you consume this comic through RSS, you may want to support Zach’s Patreon for like a $1 or something at least especially since this is scraping the site deeper than provided.


Source: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal – Emotion

A fascinating map of the most spoken languages in every US state besides English and Spanish

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The United States has never had a single “official” language. While English is broadly accepted accepted as the common tongue and typically used in schooling as well as government documents, it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. Spanish is also used frequently across the country — but there are a lot more languages than that at play throughout the States.

Andy Kiersz and Ivan De Luce at Business Insider crunched some data based on the individual-level responses from the 2017 American Community Survey  assembled and published by the Minnesota Population Center’s Integrated Public Use Microdata Series program, to find out what other languages are most commonly used in the United States.

America as a multilingual nation: “This map shows the most commonly spoken language in every US state, excluding English and Spanish”, by Andy Kiersz and Ivan De Luce, Business Insider (1/18/20): (NOTE:  I will refer to languages other than English and… https://t.co/VkvPxbYqiC pic.twitter.com/aHYI6QpfLH

— Language Log (@LanguageLog) January 23, 2020

There are a lot of thought-provoking takeaways from the data as presented here. Some things may seem obvious — there’s a lot of French, of course, particularly in Louisiana and the states that border eastern Canada. While I didn’t know that Tagalog was as popular in California and Nevada until now, I can’t say I’m surprised. The abundance of Haitian Creole in Florida makes sense, too, but its presence in Delaware is much more interesting. As someone with an interest in indigenous tongues after colonization, it’s somewhat comforting to see that Ilocano, Aleut-Eskimo, and Dakota/Lakota/Nakota/Sioux languages are all still hanging on. And while I knew that Pennsylvania Dutch was a still thing, I genuinely didn’t realize it was still thriving that much.

What you strikes you the most on here?

Language Log: America as a Multilingual Nation [Victor Mair / UPenn Linguistic Data Consortium]

This map shows the most commonly spoken language in every US state, excluding English and Spanish [Andy Kiersz and Ivan De Luce / Business Insider]


Source: A fascinating map of the most spoken languages in every US state besides English and Spanish

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal – Wine

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Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
They’re just lucky she didn’t break the bottle to use the jagged glass as an improvized weapon.

Today’s News:


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Red Button mashing provided by SMBC RSS Plus. If you consume this comic through RSS, you may want to support Zach’s Patreon for like a $1 or something at least especially since this is scraping the site deeper than provided.


Source: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal – Wine

‘World’s worst cat’ up for adoption

The “world’s worst cat” is available for adoption, according to volunteers at the Mitchell County Animal Rescue organization in North Carolina.

The group will even waive adoption fees, it said on Facebook, because Perdita is just such an an asshole cat.

“We thought she was sick. Turns out she’s just a jerk.”

Mitchell County Rescue Organization [via facebook]

Her rescue profile says her dislikes include “dogs, children, the Dixie Chicks, Disney movies, Christmas and last but NOT least … HUGS.”

The cat enjoys lurking, faking being sick, and “staring into your soul until you feel as if you may never be cheerful again …”

Via the Associated Press:

Shelter Director Amber Lowery says 4-year-old Perdita came to the facility on Christmas Eve, The Charlotte Observer reported. Since then, the shelter has had to warn visitors that Perdita’s attempts to draw passersby to her cage are actually a ruse that will not end well.

“I’m looking at her right now, and she’s rolling around in her little bed, looking all sweet and cute, but the minute you try to rub her, she slaps you. We thought she was in pain and took her to the vet and he said: ‘No, this cat is just a jerk’,” Lowery told the newspaper.

Read more here:
‘World’s worst cat’ up for adoption at North Carolina shelter. ‘She’s just a jerk.’ [charlotteobserver.com]


Source: ‘World’s worst cat’ up for adoption